10 Steps: Matching & Blessing

…for Parents and Candidates

We have outlined 10 basic steps in order to guide parents and children through the matching process:

1) PREPARATION

Parents and child prepare for matching

INTERNAL:

  • focus on developing the parent-child relationship
  • discuss the concept of matching and Blessing, expectations and limitations
  • study blessing/marriage preparation literature (parents and children together if possible)
  • make conditions

EXTERNAL:

2) SEARCH                                                                                                                                                        How will we find potential candidates?

  • Suggestions from parents:
  • International Matching Websites: www.bcmatching.org / www.bfmatch.org
  • Suggestions from the candidate, family and friends, matching supporters, BFD leaders, etc.
  • Attend Parents Matching Convocation.

3) CONTACTING A FAMILY

When you find a candidate that you are interested in, you can contact the other family by email, by phone, in-person, through a matching supporter or the national BFD leader.

Discuss thoroughly with the other family, make conditions, TAKE TIME

4) INTRODUCTION OF CANDIDATES

We suggest timing be carefully considered and that the process not be rushed.

5) INITIAL COMMUNICATION PERIOD

We recommend a period of initial communication, approximately 21 days, to consider whether to enter into a formal matching process.

6) MATCHING PROCESS & DEEPER COMMUNICATION (“Heavenly courtship”)

After communicating thoroughly the candidates should come to a decision if they wish to become a matched couple. We recommend a time period of 7 months as a guideline.

7) COMMITMENT

Submit matching papers.

The two candidates can organize a “Commitment (engagement) ceremony” together with their families.

8) PREPARATION FOR BLESSING (internal & external)

Make conditions, prepare Blessing offering, travel etc. while living as brother and sister; developing a deeper understanding and friendship.

9) HOLY BLESSING

Attend the Blessing Ceremony and receive the Blessing.

10) LIFE AS A BLESSED COUPLE

Investing in your Blessed Marriage and starting your sexual relationship as Husband and Wife. We strongly recommend True Parents’ guidance of having a minimum of 40 days

separation (abstaining from sexual intimacy) after the Blessing ceremony as an offering towards succeeding as a Blessed couple.