1. What were the main challenges you experienced in getting matched?
My parents not having a wide range of contacts worldwide. We’re quite isolated in our region and it difficult for parents to know how to reach out to other communities, other than the website (which doesn’t work for everyone). Also, it isn’t easy to have the thoughts that “there’s no-one my age left!!” – battling these thoughts and persevering through them was actually the most difficult part.
2. What were the key decisions and efforts you made to overcome these challenges?
To take up new experiences and opportunities that weren’t related to getting matched per se, but I broadened my experience with the communities in other regions. I came to the DONE programme as a staff member and met new people that way. Also I strengthened some relationships with advisor figures from Europe who my parents could then work with to find a suggestion for a match. I continued to communicate with my parents and they expressed that they were happy with me being more active in the process. This gave me a bit more confidence to sense whether God was working through me and that he could work through me – instead of solely relying on my parents’ inspiration.
3. What would you have done differently/what would you advise others not to do?
Do not be hasty for the sake of hurrying the process. I was on the website and although I felt somehow I wasn’t resonating with it, I tried to commit myself to that process. When it came to suggestions from the website I felt I had to respond with a “yes” because it may be my last chance, even if I felt huge hesitancies and was actually quite uncomfortable. It helped to communicate with my parents about this and in the end I didn’t go through with them and trusted my intuition instead. I was glad I didn’t just go against my judgment and try to do the “right thing”.
4. What lessons have you learned through your journey to getting matched?
To trust that God can work through people in your life and also that God is within us and wants to work with us. As long as we can check our motivation, we shouldn’t doubt that we can have a good sense and make good judgments. However, it is important to communicate these and not develop them on our own. I feel, especially as I got older, that I can have good intuitions and that I should feel confident that they are coming from a good place.
5. What would you say to another Blessed Child over 25 who is making efforts to get matched and Blessed?
Don’t give up! It really is a battle of the mind as you get older. As long as you can assert yourself mentally and spiritually and set your intentions to God and the universe, somehow there comes a response. Don’t expect miracles either, but take each situation as a learning experience and actively reflect on how even the toughest processes are delivering you gems to keep for life. Most of all, don’t compare. It’s easy to observe others, especially those younger than you, and form all sorts of comparisons that really don’t help. Take the time to talk to others and hear about their experiences to learn from them, but not to the extent that it makes you feel less about your own experience. You never know the reason why it takes longer for some people, but in my experience, later was the right timing. If I had rushed it earlier, I know I wouldn’t have the same outcome. So I’m grateful for that time of waiting.
Blessed Family Department 