1. What were the main challenges you experienced in getting matched?
I had the idea that only “troubled” people were left unmatched. Still I always managed to put my faith in them and had high hopes that everything would work out, but I had the experience of the other person braking off the matching. I remained active in the church, but as time went by I felt more and more out of place. As the Blessing is such a main part of the theology and our life-style, the discrepancy in my own life became almost too much to bear. I had never gotten to the point that I wanted to give up, leave the church or find somebody outside the church, but I was beginning to feel very stupid: “What’s in it for me? Why give so much when nothing is coming back?”
2. What were the key decisions and efforts you made to overcome these challenges?
As I said I never actually lost faith in the Blessing. I always knew that once it was supposed to happen (the right guy came along) it would all happen very quickly and smoothly. I was worried, though, about turning thirty and not being Blessed yet.
3. What would you have done differently or what would you advise others not to do?
I would have hoped not to have my first Blessing broken. I really don’t know if it would have been good in the long run, but that threw me off for a couple of years. I would say, do not put your life on hold. Decisions such as what to study, where to live, what work to do, to spend or save, or to travel were impossible for me for a while because the issue of getting Blessed seemed to lurk just around the corner. This waiting in limbo sucked a lot of energy out of me and made my university studies a drag. Although it might seem like the last thing you want to do – go out and do whatever you want (in accordance with your original mind of course!) I’d like to think that creates the right kind of energy and also gives you maturing experiences that will be conducive to getting matched and blessed in the future.
4. What lessons have you learned through your journey to getting matched?
The Blessing is very humbling, which I mean in an extremely positive way. When the Blessing finally comes, it is a real Blessing. It’s the most wonderful feeling to receive something that is rightfully and fully yours. This ordeal of the long kind of matching process shaped me to become the person who can appreciate and see the value. I don’t regret that it took so long. Everything is perfect now (maybe not by other people’s standards and certainly not by external standards), everything that matters.
5. What would you say to another Blessed Child over 25 who is making efforts to get matched and Blessed?
I know it’s tough, it’s the worst; it doesn’t make any sense. Still, stay as open as possible. I found it very painful when somebody once told me “You can’t be picky.” because, despite everything, I didn’t have to accept someone if it was against my intuition and my wants. And yet, within my own capability, by myself, I came to a point where I felt I could have accepted anyone (I hope that makes sense), my heart had not closed off. Once you strip away all expectations a whole new level of perception and wonderfulness opens up.
6. Any other comments? (Feel free to write anything)
Honestly, I feel I am not the one to give advice because I cannot explain what happened or how I deserve this. I didn’t give up hope and kept involved in church activities, but I never did any conditions, never prayed; I’m not the religious type. That is why it has been even more shocking and moving to find out that friends had been praying for me, and soon after they made a suggestion that led to me getting Blessed a year later.