Blessed Child 2.
Male, Blessed 2018, matched a year before being Blessed
1.What did you do to prepare yourself internally before starting the matching process and during the matching process?
I was thinking a lot about how I could be prepared during the matching process. I read several books on understanding women and was reading True Parents words about the blessing. One book especially was, For Men Only. There is also the counterpart ‘For Women Only’ that women can read. It explained a lot about what women need and why that is; and explained in a way that men could understand. This was very helpful to me.
2.What were some challenges you faced in communicating with your parents during the matching process and what specific actions did you take to overcome these challenges?
Communicating with my parents didn’t feel like a challenge. I trust them and felt comfortable for them to find someone for me. I suppose I gave minimal requests; I asked for someone in Europe, just so that living together would be more convenient.
3. How did you ultimately decide that this is the person you wanted to be matched to?
During our matching process we were serious about each other and very curious too. At first we emailed each other and asked many questions about what we believed. What does True Parents mean to you? What things in the Unification Movement are important to you, which traditions? What is the relationship with your parents and siblings? Where do you see your faith going? Do you want to be a contributor to the Unification Movement? We asked a lot of questions and slowly I felt very connected and comfortable with her. At the same time we read a lot of True Parents words, once a week, and then we emailed each other our thoughts after reading it. I felt very at ease sharing my feelings with her than other people and as a result of our questions and answers I felt very comfortable being around her. This led me to feel she was the right one for me.
4. Is there something you wish you had known, or worked on more, before entering the matching process?
I feel this is the question I can write most about. There are so many things that are new after being matched and blessed which really made me think “Gosh, how I get my head around this?”. One thing was to be in touch with feelings. What I didn’t know is that women need to know how you feel, and a lot of the time. This was a challenge. How do I feel? In the beginning I said I’m not thinking about anything or feeling anything. But later, I wanted to discover more about and learn to express my feelings to her. I feel that what I wish I had worked on more was to share my feelings with my parents and siblings, so that it would be easier now with my wife.
I also wish I had known that once you are matched you are not brother and sister. This should be emphasized because I thought I shouldn’t have any romantic feelings and so I tried to suppress them, which is not so healthy. Actually when you are matched you are an engaged couple which is very different to brother and sister. Once becoming an engaged couple I think it’s important to discuss your relationship in ways that you couldn’t prior to being matched.