Mother of several Children and … she matched successfully and some of them have already children themselves now
How did you, as parents, prepare yourselves before starting a matching process for your child? And what kind of preparations did you make together with your child?
We as parents made a 40- day prayer condition as a basis for the whole matching process. At the same time we watched our daughter/son closely in her/his final high school examinations and finding the right study course for her/him. So that her/his head would be free for finding a partner.
In the same time period we went together to three different blessing workshops (one in English language, two in German language).
What tools did you find helpful in your task to find a partner for your child?
Attending our first PMC in Europe was very helpful, especially the testimonies of other parents and the international atmosphere of the event.
There was so much information that there was hardly any time for finding a partner. But we went again and then there was more time as the lectures were already familiar and the head was free for looking for a profile.
The international Matching Website is very helpful, once you get used to using it in the right way. Sometimes I wished for a better introduction of using it. We as parents are the older generation and not necessarily familiar to use the computer programs efficiently.
Getting help from a matching supporter gave some hope not to give up! And reading the Family Matching Handbook (US) was really helpful, as to read a book is easy and you can study it, whenever there is time to do it. There were many questions, I did not think about myself.
Other tools I used was that had a look at the birth horoscope. Just to get some basic orientation about the question, if the characters would fit.
What were the main challenges you experienced when matching your child?
My main challenge was to overcome my own attitude of being too proud of asking others, what they would think about my child. Not fulfill the own dreams and goals, but to really look, what is best for my son or daughter. It was like learning to look through their lenses.
Do you have any advice for parents who are preparing to match their child?
Not to give up so easily. The process needs to be shared among the parents (father and mother) and to find the same point of view is sometimes really challenging. Talking with other parents, how they did the matching was very helpful. Also to use the own network in the community or of the nation was helpful to us as parents. We as 1st Generation have friends abroad and we can ask their advice as well. There is always the option that they know someone? I regret not having that done enough. Unfortunately we kept looking for a partner for our children too much to ourselves. This I would do differently nowadays.