How did you, as parents, prepare yourselves before starting a matching process for your child? And what kind of preparations did you make together with your child?
One of the most important preparations was to attend a Blessing workshop with my child. This helped us also to communicate well about expectations, wishes and needs.
We as parents also made prayer conditions and spoke often with our child.
What tools did you find helpful in your task to find a partner for your child?
We attended several Parents Matching Convocations and a Blessing Preparation Workshop together. We used the international websites ( http://www.blessing4u.org) and read information on the European website http://www.bfedeu.org We referred to the Family Matching Handbook (US) at times
What were the main challenges you experienced when matching your child?
The first challenge was to find a candidate we felt good about. Twice this happened in unexpected ways and not over the website although that was the method we planned to use.
A great challenge was after we had chosen someone and felt this could be a good potential match, not to put pressure on our child to accept our suggestion just because we had a good feeling and hoped it would work out. We noticed the children feel pressure from our expectation and hope and don’t want to disappoint, wanting to please their parents. We found it is however of utmost importance that the children feel good with the match not us! And it is important to reassure the candidates that it is ok to say no, Not too easily throwing away an opportunity but if after sincere effort they feel no then they should have the space to be able to say that.
Do you have any advice for parents who are preparing to match their child?
Don’t try to rush it, don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work out right away. Pray for God’s guidance and believe in your child’s wisdom.
We also always talk to the parents over Skype before introducing the children to get a feeling for the family