Dear Blessed Families,
I am Margoth Kalstad and I want to offer free online bereavement support on zoom.
I have been wanting to this for a long time since I have many years of experience to lead bereavement groups. The group will be a self-help group, not a therapy group – where one can share about one’s loss and take time to mourn without being afraid of burdening others. The role of the group leader is to be a facilitator and lead the group so all members can have time to share about their loss.
There is a lot of healing in being able to share and feel that one is not alone in one’s mourning, by recognising one’s self in the story of others. We can learn that all reactions to bereavement are normal although it may not feel like it.
There is not one right way of morning losses. There are different phases in mourning a loss and it is normal to move between the different stages as time passes. One may not get over a loss, but one can learn to move through it and learn to live with it.
Four stages of loss:
• Shock and numbness: Loss in this phase feels impossible to accept. Most closely related to the Kübler-Ross’s stage of denial, we are overwhelmed when trying to cope with our emotions. Parkes suggests that there is physical distress experienced in this phase as well, which can lead to somatic or physical symptoms.
• Yearning and searching: As we process loss in this phase of grief, we may begin to look for comfort to fill the void our loved one has left. We might do this by reliving memories through pictures and looking for signs from the person to feel connected to them. In this phase, we become very preoccupied with the person we have lost.
• Despair and disorganization: We may find ourselves questioning and feeling angry in this phase. The realization that our loved one is not returning feels real, and we can have a difficult time understanding or finding hope for the future. We may feel aimless during this portion of the grieving process and retreat from others as we process our pain.
• Reorganization and recovery: In this phase, we feel more hopeful that our hearts and minds can be restored. As with Kübler-Ross’s acceptance stage, sadness, or longing for our loved one does not disappear. However, we move towards healing and reconnecting with others for support, finding small ways to re-establish some normality in our daily lives.
Some suggest that there are seven stages of grieving instead of only four or five. This more complex model of the grieving process involves experiencing:
• Shock and denial. Whether a loss occurs suddenly or with some advanced notice, it is possible to experience shock. You feel emotionally numb and may deny the loss.
• Pain and guilt. During this stage of grieving, the pain of the loss starts to set in. You may also feel guilty for needing more from family and friends during this emotional time.
• Anger and bargaining. You may lash out at people you love or become angry with yourself, or you might try to “strike a bargain” with a higher power, asking that the loss be taken away in exchange for something on your part.
• Depression and loneliness. As you reflect on your loss, you may start to feel depressed or lonely. It is in this stage of grieving that you begin to truly realize the reality of your loss.
• The upward turn. You begin to adjust to your new life, and the intensity of the pain you feel from the loss starts to reduce. At this point in the grieving process, you may notice that you feel calmer.
• Reconstruction and working through. This stage in grieving involves taking action to move forward. You begin to reconstruct your new normal, working through any issues created by the loss.
• Acceptance and hope. In this final stage of the grieving process, you begin to accept the loss and feel hope for what tomorrow might bring. It’s not that all of your other feelings are gone, just more so that you have accepted them and are ready to move on.
I will set up 2 groups that will meet regularly, with 3 weeks interval
First group is for those who have lost a spouse. The group will meet every Monday from 18.00 to 20.00 CET. The group will function as an open-end group, meaning one can join to see if this is something that works for you and one can attend the group as long as one needs or wishes.
This group will start on the 14. November, next dates will be 5. December, 26. December and
continue from 16. January every 3 weeks in 2023.
Maximum 5 people can join; this group is for members of both genders that have lost a spouse.
Second group is for those that have lost a beloved person (sibling, parent, friend, etc… ). It will run on zoom every 3rd Monday evening from 18.00 to 20.00 CET.
The first meeting will be on 21st November, next dates will be 12th December, and 2 nd January, then continuing every 3rd Monday in 2023.
Maximum 5 people can join
Group rules (additional points may be added)
- Confidentiality
- What is shared in the group stays in the group
- Can only share your own experiences outside the group
- Respectful attitude towards others bereavement and process
- Respect others privacy by not referring to or naming other group members outside the group
I can offer additional support to individuals if or when needed.
Many greetings, Margoth Kalstad
Those that would like to attend a group can send an email to mtkalstad@gmail.com, and I will contact each one and share necessary information.
About Margoth Kalstad:
I have a BA in Journalism and worked as an editor for 15 years, before taking a degree in gestalt therapy. I am also trained in Non-violent Communications a method helpful to use in couple’s and family work. Beside working with couple and family, I work with individual of all generations. I have 14 years of experiences as a psychotherapist, through this I have experience of helping people with building good relationships, acceptance, grief, losses, suicide preventions, depressions, relational and behavioral issues and so on.
Methods, Gestalt Therapy “Gestalt” means whole and based on theory that people need to be viewed as a whole (mind, body, and soul) and that we understand ourselves best when viewing in the present. Instead of talking about past situations, clients are encouraged to look at in what way the past situation is affecting their present life and how to deal with it. From July 2022 I will hold a master’s degree in pastoral care from the university of theology.
Blessed Family Department 