Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How does the Introduction system work?
A: It works like this: Once each are introduced and they say ‘yes’ the pair will pray, perhaps visit each other, and win each other’s hearts and prepare themselves in terms of their understanding about the Blessing and about marriage. It’s their time to make their own decision about their commitment to the Blessing and to building a Blessed family together.
They will enter the first stage of a ‘heavenly engagement’; That is 21 days of communication, called the Introduction period. After that, if they decide to continue, they then have the rest of 7 months (25 weeks) .

Q: How could I explain the ‘Heavenly Courtship’ to a candidate more deeply?
A: You could say something like this:

  1. The 7-month Heavenly Courtship period is for you to make your commitment to the eternal Blessing very solid (an absolute commitment), so that you do not say the Blessing vows without really meaning what you are saying.
  2. During this time you have three weeks of initial communication to decide if you will enter the ‘Heavenly Courtship’ for the rest of the 7 months (i.e. 25 weeks). We call this 21 days, the Communication Phase.
  3. ‘Heavenly Courtship’ means to understand about restoring your positions to that of ‘bride of the Messiah’, and ‘good archangel’ from those of fallen woman and man.
  4. Please use the 25 weeks for two things: to strengthen your relationship with True Parents, and of course, to come closer to God’s Heart; and win each other’s hearts, and get to know each other enough to be committed when you are Blessed.
  5. Please do not be romantic emotionally and verbally, or touch each other romantically during the 7 months. When you go through the 3-day ceremony , 40 days after the Blessing, you will be restored to the positions of a Godly man and woman. Then you will be free to be romantic, and totally loving inwardly and physically.

Q: The pair seem to be happy because of the matching and are hoping to meet each other as soon as possible. I would like to share deeper guidance with them on how to behave and develop their relationship during these seven months.
A: This is their ‘heavenly courtship’ time. They can use that time as they want – it’s their time to really ‘take ownership’ of the decision – and if there are education programs which the Eu-BFD is offering ( see the Web site http://www.bfedeu.org ) which seem helpful, they can attend them (e.g. Living in the Four Great Realms of Heart).

Q: I want to be clear from the very beginning so that the couple can develop their relationship properly under God’s guidance. During their separation period are they supposed to behave as brother and sister?
A: Yes. Refer to above points 4 and 5. In addition, be respectful, kind, polite and friendly. Be interested in the other person and share who you are.

Q: The candidate went to a Blessing preparation workshop more than 2 years ago. Does he/she need to go again?

A: If he went to his Blessing prep workshop more than 2 years ago, he will need to attend another one. He can do that during the 7 months or afterwards – either is OK – but it needs to be before the Blessing.

Q: Once they are Blessed, is that it as far as the BFD is concerned?
A: We recommend that after their Blessing they attend another Blessing Education program after they have done the 3-days ceremony and begun their life together. So after about another year, when they’ve had some experience of really relating with each other as a married couple.

Q: Why wait 7 months?
A: Experience shows that a length of time, such as this, is needed to harmonise the standards of each person, and especially in the case of a person with long experience within the Unification Principles matched with another who has barely been introduced to the standards of a lifestyle of service. It also seems to be, in practice, the minimum time a person needs to get to know someone else.